You may be thinking how hard it will be to ever find your soul mate, and be happy again in a relationship, because you feel now that you are older, dating is not for you. AARP reported, in a study they conducted of singles aged 55 an up, that 49% said, “Having someone to talk to or do things with” is the most important reason for dating when your older.
You have so much more wisdom and experience than you did the first time around, so you will be able to leave behind all the nonsense you remember about dating. Dating is definitely different than it was the first time around, however, with new technology it can be much easier to meet someone. Dating has really not changed, because deep down people are still the same, with the same desires, wants and needs. The main thing that has changed is the way people can meet each other today. The Internet has made the world smaller, making dating for seniors easier.
My sister is happily married to a man that lived in another state, who she met through a senior dating service online. Now that her children are grown, she was so lonely and longed for the companionship of someone that enjoyed the same interests that she did. She tried an online dating site, and went on a few dates, which were a lot of fun. She met a man that lived a couple of states away, and think about it, her first time around she would have never met this man, because she had never visited that state. They spent months emailing, instant messaging, and using video chat. By the time they met in person, they were such good friends, everything just clicked. They were married very soon after their first meeting, and I know this sounds corny, are living happily ever after.
Lehman Brothers Equity Research shows that the 50+ segment is the fastest growing group of subscribers making up senior online dating. 26% of American adults, say that they know someone who went on a date that made the connection from an online dating site, according to research by Pew Internet and American Life Project, with 15% of those American adults, saying they know someone who is in a long term relationship or a marriage from an online meeting.
Even though the Internet has given you access to the whole world, it has also created some situations that you must be aware of. Dating in today’s world has changed considerably, even though people have not, so you must remember that not everyone has the pure and honest motive of finding someone to talk to and share their experiences with.
You will have enough to think about when choosing to date as a senior, so with everything that you will have on your mind, make it easy by following some simple dating etiquette rules for dating in the 21st century. These simple to follow tips can provide a safety plan that will make dating today fun, and help you create some magical moments.
1) Don’t try to be someone you are not, always be yourself by being totally honest, for both of your sakes. Do not follow a set of made up rules from society about dating for older women and men. If you are an older man dating again, and want to open a door do it, and if you do not want to open a door then don’t. If you want to bring flowers to your date, then bring them. If your idea of a perfect date is going to a sports bar and watching a game, then do it. If you are a senior woman or man dating again, don’t you really want to know what your date is like? You do not want to fall in love with someone that turns out to be totally different, so many people have done that already.
This is one of the great things about dating in your senior years, because by this age you should have the confidence to be yourself, and not be so concerned about what other people want you to be. If you go against who you really are, because you are just trying to follow some rules of etiquette for senior dating, then the person you are dating will not know the real you.
If your date does not like the way you are acting, it is better to find out on the first date, then waste time with someone you are not compatible with. Dating seniors do not have time to waste when looking for that special someone. This can really be an advantage, because the person you do find will know you right from the beginning, without the games that youth typically play.
2) Do not focus on the past, by keeping your conversations on the present or future. Too much information can kill a first date, and give a bad first impression. When older people date, they often come with baggage, like ex spouses, children, and aging parents. Your date does not want to hear about all these things right in the beginning, if you have additional dates together, there will be time to talk about baggage and drama from the past at a later time.
This is the beauty of online dating for seniors, because a lot of people will develop a friendship online before they ever meet in person, and have already discussed many things before they meet. Always remember predators will look for people that provide personal information early in a relationship, because when someone is vulnerable they become an easy target. Never give out information on your family, especially children and grandchildren, you do not have to be dishonest just don’t give out too much information.
3) Don’t give out your address, or put yourself in a vulnerable position without transportation, so meet your date. If you are uncomfortable about meeting someone for the first time, you can always schedule the date in a group setting, which may relieve some of the pressure of beginning to date as a senior. Make sure your first few dates are in public places, until you get to know the person. Always tell someone where you are going, and when to expect you, with a pre-arranged time to check in with them. Follow your gut feelings, if something does not feel right, do not pursue it.
4) Do not give out your home phone number, use your cell phone, because typically a reverse look up will not tie the number back to your address.
5) Do not leave your drink and food unattended, do not leave the table or provide an opportunity for something to be slipped into your drink.
The goal of your first date is to find out if you want a second date, so try to get to know each others likes and dislikes. Keep an open mind, focus on things you have in common, keep it light and try to have a good time. The main goal is to be smart, be safe, and have an exit strategy.
